How to Get a Boy to Like You Again After Dating a Boy That Was a Major Downgrade

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A guide on learning to grow and move on from a relationship that didn't piece of work out

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It doesn't matter if yous dumped him or if he dumped yous, it even so hurts. When a relationship ends, it tin can be tough to move on. It may not happen right away, simply take these steps now to go over him faster.

1. 1

   Don't hang out with him. An unclear breakup can be messy and confusing. Make information technology clear that yous practise non want to see him anymore.

   • If you're the one who ended the human relationship, be sure to articulate up whatever confusion almost the condition of things immediately.
     • Don't use vague phrases like "Things don't seem to be working out" or "I'g not sure this is what I want right now."
     • Be direct. If you must clarify the situation, you can't go wrong with "It's over."

2. 2

   Try not to run into him. Y'all and your ex may accept friends in common, shared interests, a common workplace or school situation--any of which could cause you to bump into each other. Rearrange your schedule if necessary, enlist the aid of your friends and exercise some social media updating to aid ensure you lot don't encounter him unexpectedly.

   • Update your Facebook page. Change your relationship status and "unfriend" your ex. Go through and delete any photos of the 2 of you that you posted and remove tags from cry photos that were posted by friends.
     • If your friends are firmly on your side in this break-up, enquire them to "unfriend" your ex as well.
     • If your friends desire to desire to maintain a human relationship with your former boyfriend, avert visiting their social media pages where you might see posts from or photos of your ex.
   • Alter your routine. You however take to prove up for work or attend school--fifty-fifty if your ex is there, likewise. And you want to be able to visit your favorite hangouts without worrying almost running in to you-know-who, so you might need to go a little creative with your timetable.
     • Wait until the terminal minute and slide into your seat in the classroom right before the bell rings. That way, you lot won't risk having an unwanted conversation with your ex.
     • At work, bring your own java and keep snacks at your desk so you don't hazard running into your former flame in the role break room. If the path to the ladies room leads right past his desk, see if you can apply the facilities in some other office or on another floor. If you lot fear an encounter at the copier, save your Xeroxing for the stop of the day or enlist a sympathetic co-worker to make copies for you lot.
     • If you frequent the same dry cleaners, bar, library or other location as your ex-swain, try going on a different day than usual or stopping in a picayune earlier or later than your regular fourth dimension to avert seeing him.

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3. 3

   Create some mental space. It doesn't matter how successful yous are at fugitive your ex, if yous keep mentally reliving every fight and every practiced time. Busy your brain with new activities to go on from obsessing almost what was.^[1]

   • Accept upward a new hobby. Always wanted to learn how to belly trip the light fantastic toe? Interested in photography? Now'southward the time to immerse yourself in a new activity that will keep your mind occupied and help y'all explore an interest and develop new skills.
   • Volunteer. Search craigslist for volunteer opportunities or visit sites such as OneBrick.org, Sparked.com or Kiva.org. Or simply contact local homeless shelters, beast rescue organizations, schools or churches.
     • Not simply does volunteering help others, it takes you outside of yourself and activates your brain'south reward centers. In addition, research shows that donating behavior makes you more attractive to new romantic partners. ^[two] That's a win-win.
   • Throw abroad unwanted souvenirs from your relationship. Discard photos, letters he sent and gifts he gave you. If you're not sure that you're ready to let it go, stash it all in a box and out of sight.
     • If you take emails your ex sent you, delete them. If you think there might exist a correspondence or ii you lot want to save, create a folder, put all emails inside and program to review them later.
     • If you have a slice of jewelry that may have sentimental value for your ex, ask him if he'd like to accept it back. If not, and so practise with it as y'all see fit.

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1. i

   Understand the stages of grief. The cease of a relationship--no matter how long it lasted--is a loss, and with loss comes grief.^[3] Everyone grieves differently, merely grief has some mutual elements.

   • The v stages of grief introduced by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross in 1969 have become a universal guideline for what someone experiencing a loss can expect to become through: denial, acrimony, bargaining, low and acceptance.
     • You won't necessarily go through all of these stages in your journeying toward healing and even if you practice, you lot may not go through them in guild. Still, information technology'southward good to know what you might await and understand that what you're feeling is perfectly normal.
     • Depending on the circumstances of your breakup, you may also feel sadness, loneliness, regret, anxiety, guilt, insecurity or a variety of other negative emotions.
     • Y'all may also experience physical symptoms of grief. Headaches, nausea, insomnia, loss of appetite, weight gain, aches, pains and fatigue are not uncommon for someone going through a breakdown.

2. two

   Permit information technology out. Keeping your emotions bottled up can prolong the hurting you lot feel. This is the time to reach out to friends and family members who are good listeners. Or if you're not much of a talker, you lot tin share your thoughts in a journal or blog.

   • Talk to someone you trust. Plough to your mom, your grandma, your aunt, even your cousin or best friend. Sharing your feelings and knowing that someone else understands what you're going through can ease the burden of your grief.
   • Have an imaginary conversation with your ex. 1 study showed that people who had imaginary conversations and then said goodbye to their partner had more relief from grief than those who didn't. ^[4]
   • Write a letter to your ex--just don't send it. Rather than fuming about what you lot should accept said and what you'd say at present if you ran into your ex, commit those thoughts and feelings to newspaper. Don't worry about being terribly coherent, and skillful grammar and spelling certainly don't count here. The idea is to get the anger, sadness, resentment and any other emotions out of your system and onto newspaper.

3. three

   Curse if you want to. Information technology turns out that using bad language may benefit you lot past reducing your pain. A written report published in NeuroReport showed a link between blasphemous and pain reduction. ^[v]

4. four

   Tap into your spiritual side. Whatsoever form it may take, turning to a spiritual exercise tin can help you find peace in the midst of the turmoil acquired by a breakup.

   • In a grief study reported in the British Medical Periodical, researchers found that people who accept strong spiritual beliefs seem to resolve grief more quickly and completely than those with no beliefs.^[6]
   • Endeavour meditation. Every major world religion has some form of contemplative exercise with a meditative component,^[7] so choose the i that suits you all-time. These include yoga, Tai chi, prayer, Qigong and transcendental meditation to name a few.

5. 5

   See a professional person if you're unable to make an emotional recovery. Women who hadn't gotten over a relationship past 16 weeks later a breakdown had decreased brain activity in the regions associated with emotion, motivation and attention. In other words, their brains physically inverse, which explains the inability to concentrate and to get upwards and go. Do non allow yourself go this length of time without intervention. ^[8]

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1. 1

   Spend time with friends. Your friends will be there for you no affair what your relationship status, and information technology'due south good to accept some time to appreciate them and reconnect. Brand a programme to have lunch, go to a club, hitting the mall--any yous enjoy.

2. 2

   Create an uplifting playlist. Listening to music causes your brain to release dopamine--a experience-good chemical. Put together a playlist of songs that inspire you, make you grinning and cause you to get up and dance.

   • Cull songs with a message of empowerment. Cosmopolitan Magazine listed these tunes on a list of songs that can help you become over a breakdown. ^[9]
     • "Since U Been Gone," Kelly Clarkson
     • "Forget You lot," Cee Lo Greenish
     • "Single Ladies," Beyonce
     • "And so What," Pinkish
     • "Stronger," Brittany Spears
   • Sing it loud, sing information technology proud. For an extra bump of energy and positivity, sing along with your music. If your ex ever told yous that you couldn't sing, sing louder! and try not to sing ones that remind you of honey.

3. 3

   Adopt a pet. The benefits of pet buying are well documented. Having a hirsuite friend to intendance for increases feelings of well-existence, decreases loneliness, reduces pain, improves concrete fitness, adds to self-esteem and can combat depression.

   • Walking a domestic dog is a great way to get exercise and to run into new people. Creating new friendships with other dog owners tin assistance increment your social circumvolve and strengthen your support system.
   • Pets offer unconditional love. Y'all won't stress so much about finding the guy that will give you that kind of absolute amore if you're already getting it from your four-legged friend.

4. 4

   Get in shape. If you've been too bummed out to get to the gym or put your plans for training for the marathon on concord, now'due south the fourth dimension to become back to it. Like music, exercise releases pleasurable chemicals in the brain, then you'll not just await adept, yous'll feel meliorate, too.

   • Exercise tin ameliorate your sleep, increase your energy and boost your confidence--areas of your life that may have taken a hit after your breakup.
   • If you overindulged your craving for comfort foods afterward your breakup, y'all may take put on a pound or two. Exercise tin can help you take off the extra weight.

5. 5

   Spend time on your advent. You don't have to do a total-diddled makeover (although you could), just making sure you look your best will help you feel improve and make you more highly-seasoned to the reverse sex.

   • Page through fashion magazines and websites for inspiration for a new await. It's not just you who craves a alter after departing with a boyfriend, you'll see plenty of celebrity "before" and "later" photos documenting post-breakup makeovers.
   • Consider a small change like getting highlights or switching to a new color of lip gloss. A fresh advent helps support your fresh, new arroyo to your life and if he/she dumped yous with your new advent y'all'll show him what he tin can't have.

6. 6

   Stay open to new possibilities. ^[10] You may non yet exist ready to date, but that doesn't hateful y'all have to avoid guys entirely. Go somewhere yous can practise your flirting or at least telescopic out cuties of the opposite sex.

   • If you lot see someone you're attracted to, brand centre contact and smile. Remember, a cup of coffee or a chat isn't a commitment.
   • If you do come across someone you similar, stay away from giving them the lowdown on your breakup and a list of your ex's faults and failings. A potential new guy doesn't want to hear about the old guy so presently and definitely not in negative terms. Talking bad about your ex is a turn-off.

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• Question

  How do yous move on when you still honey your ex?

  

  Erika Kaplan is a Dating Autobus and Matchmaker for 3 Day Dominion, an sectional matchmaking company across nine cities in the United States. With over six years of feel, Erika specializes in helping singles find quality matches through date coaching and premium matchmaking services. Erika graduated from Penn State with a Bachelor's degree in Public Relations. She worked for Rolling Stone, Usa Weekly, and Men's Journal before leaving publishing to pursue her passion for connecting people. Erika has been featured on Lifetime, the Philadelphia Inquirer, and CBS as well as in Thrillist, Aristocracy Daily, Men's Wellness, Fast Company, and Refinery29.

  

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  Expert Answer

  

  Back up wikiHow past unlocking this expert answer.

  Yous have to just accept that you have feelings for a former person in your life, and that'southward okay. Information technology'southward okay to dear different people for different reasons. It'southward really only a matter of feeling healed enough where y'all can allow yourself to be vulnerable with someone else. A relationship with a new person may exist very unlike from your former relationship with your ex. You may feel feelings for your ex, because frankly, they were a part of your life for a long fourth dimension.

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VideoRead Video Transcript

• Accept that information technology'south okay to cry & that everything happens for a reason. Just i step closer to finding the 1 you lot've been looking for you.

• Go a new wardrobe! This seems like a minor thing, just getting a new wardrobe can make you lot feel happier and seem more self confident.

• Practice things you enjoy to have your listen off of him. Before yous know it, y'all having a great time and your not fifty-fifty thinking almost him!

• Get to the spa and get a massage or a facial, to aid you relax.

• You tin can stay home and cry and think well-nigh what happened over and over, but eventually you will have to accept life has to move on.

• Whenever you find yourself thinking nearly him option up the telephone and call a friend to redirect your mind.

• Fifty-fifty if your still sad, make yourself smiling, even if it'due south not fully genuine. Science proves that smiling itself tin can actually make you grin for real. So even if you aren't happy, y'all can always make yourself to be!

• Effort to find a perfect guy for you lot that you are comfortable with.

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• Practice not let anger and sadness crowd over your emotions and feelings. You volition lose friends and you don't want that to happen.

• Don't go all over school telling anybody. Don't say y'all're sad on your Myspace or Facebook, But don't say that you are content and happy, you lot don't want him thinking you never cared at all, guys still have feelings, but avoid posting annihilation to exercise with him.

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Article Summary Ten

If y'all're trying to get over a guy, outset by getting some distance between yous. Hang out with other people and avoid places, in existent life and online, where you might see him. Give yourself time and infinite to scream, cry, or curse if you want, or use a journal or blog to limited your feelings. Keeping things bottled up inside simply makes the hurt last longer! Finally, endeavor to motion on. Spend your time and energy on things that make y'all happy, like being with family and friends, or mayhap a new pet. If yous want to acquire how to give yourself mental space away from the guy, keep reading the article!

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